`i've waited all my life today was 6 hours' worth of swimming. and im still burning with energy despite burning the night away on my law assg. `l am my own man
`to cross this line
`to the only thing that's true
Monday, November 12, 2007
i will never not go for my sunday classes even if im running a fucking high fever or my throat is as sore as it can ever get. i just cannot imagine the kinda disappointment on my kids' faces like that on the kids of my friday classes.
normally when my kids clamber onto me, i will threaten to swing them around and throw them into the water. and most of the time, i did just that.
but today, i thought i might be able to use some hugs to fill up this unbearable void inside of me.
without protest, i let them climb up onto my lap and sit hugging me. and i held on tight to them and buried my face for as long as i dared in the crook of their small fragile necks without letting my eyes betray me. before leaving, one of my kids kissed me full on each cheek and smiled. at that moment, i felt like my pain might just be a little lessened.
you know this isnt easy for me.
i wana scream that im not letting you get rid of me.
i wana get a ticket and fly over right this very moment and shake you hard
and say you cant do this to me.
you cant do this to us.
i wana smash every single thing in sight and say
i wont resign my life to this.
i want you and you.
i want a life with you.
you know how much this means to us.
i want so much to ask you to stay but the words wont come out.
i cant let the person who complete me leave my life just like that.
i cant.
i cant..
but i did.
i just did that..
loving someone shouldnt be so hard. what is this world that is standing right before me now. i dunno what it is anymore.
i hate myself.
i hate my place in this fucking world.
i hate it that i cannot do fuck to hold on to this that means more than the world to me.
i hate the person who is in me now.
i hate her.
i wish she can fucking disappear from the face of this world and stop existing.
open mouth and scream silently
please take me away someone..
please..
im so sorry..
i really want to make it easier for me for you for everyone.
but i cant put up with a lie like this for fucking christ sake.
it's never easy right from the start
and i should have known better than to try making it so.
12:44 AM.
`themood
*bien`
`themusic `thelyrics Lonely im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
I wont up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Im so lonely so lonely
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Im so lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
So lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Artist - Akon
Song - Lonely
Album - Trouble
.Lonely.
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole left life came crashin
Im so lonely so lonely,
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody to call my own
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girrll