l 0 v 3
is when two people who cares for each other gets confused

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`i've waited all my life
`to cross this ~~line~~
`to the only thing that's true

Sunday, December 30, 2007

today is 29 December, Saturday.

somewhere along the way, Christmas seems to have just swept by without my noticing and New Year's already round the corner.

i love the way how time creeps up on us, and looking back, im satisfactorily contented by my achievements this year. constant learning always in place be it in school or work and with each passing year, i find myself just a tad more mature and a little less wistful, all of which in a good sense.

referral is a beautiful word. i soon find myself with a new student, a caucasian lady from Cairnhill Crest and from what i understood from a driver, a recent addition to the 'Cairnhill Condominium Estate'.

this morning, i woke up only to end up in a mad dash from juan's place to town. cant believe it's my first class and im late. how inspiring i can get in the face of an enthusiastic student. i cant really remember the countless times i've snoozed and the number of times kane went 'kris, wake up,' (almost robotic i noted, sorry kanie. :( ), but i clearly remembered the sick feeling in my stomach when i opened my eyes and the time flashed 1010 and myself vaguely muttering 'oh fuck' before i fled to the toilet in horror.

a phone call at 1020am
Direction to the pool:
turn right, the second door on the left in which she awaits to bring me in.

i repeated the directions again just to make sure i didnt hear wrongly. it's just that when i first heard that, it kinda sound like a maze with trapped doors around. i mean normally, isnt it supposed to be just another turning or opening, if not gates (but it's not like im going up to their units isnt it) and not a door?

i was crossing my fingers that i wont get lost and have to call again. i was already 20 minutes late then.

and then i realized, the so-called door is a security-coded glass panel only accessible with a swipe of the residents' access card. thank God i didnt try to find the way to the pool myself, considering me being me. i will just end up walking in circles only to find all the entrances to the interior of the condo sealed and even MORE LATE.

luckily she's a real sweet lady, not to say thoughtful. even brought down a chilled bottled drink for me. (but that normally happens only in the first class as i've observed.)

as for me, that's the consequences of staying up late and sleeping at nearly 5 earlier in the morning. of late, im having difficulty crawling outta bed each time and i think my body is trying to tell me something very important. and i really think it's time i should heed the advice. but the temptation of running out to meet my friends as much as i can before school starts is so seductive i can barely resist it. (see, i love you guys just so much. grin.)

gonna bath then meet aunt marg. haven seen her in a week. i miss her wry humour. hope all the stuffing during Christmas didnt stifle it. oops.

`l am my own man
9:53 AM.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

sitting here with you guys, it just strikes me how strangely familiar it feels.

time and circumstances obviously have not much of an effect to alter the comfort that this friendship brings.

to hear the good old laughter and same old silly but hilarious remarks (more commonly put forth by wl) thrown across the table with a sort of careless but accustomed randomness which brightens up the increasingly comfortable surrounding is just one of those few things time has managed to revive. the good old fuzzy feeling, despite the wet seat and drizzle earlier on, left me in relatively high spirits despite the gravity of the topics.

the stayover is inevitable.

we have yet to finish our conversation that we have left four months ago. there's still loads of stories to be told and i simply cant wait to hear them all. to work round a time constraint can be a pretty strenuous task, a stayover is just perfect.

imagine being nicely propped up with cushions and pillows under the soft yellow illumination talking about just anything, everything that happens to us and around us through the evening and into the night. when there is only a faint thin line of boundary that fences off issues to be untouched.

i wonder is it just the way we are built that facilitates the ease of sharing or is it just this unspoken bond developed right at the initial phase of the friendship which sets the tone of this friendship. (Mm, just nice to form a mahjong table also).

of late, i realised i get tired quite easily.

i see it as a good sign.

well, at least im finally catching up on my much deprived sleep. (:

`l am my own man
6:46 PM.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

just got back from Holland V after meeting with kane, juan, aj, deb, ANDREW and her COUSIN DARREN!!

oh my goodness, fancy andrew not working on a FRIDAY. this is a MIRACLE. had a really long day, wad with swimming-then-tuition-then-tea with allen and grace-then back to the pool again for 4 more hours-then h.v. truly exhausted but it was a great day nevertheless.

i really think presents show a lot. like how attentive the person is towards not just details but also more specifically to ure needs and wants. and so far, the three christmas gifts i've received so far from (in order) Aunt Marg, Grace and Allen are all stuff that i not only want but i NEED them.

and somehow, one way or another, they got delivered to me from the hands of those i hold close to my heart. makes them all the more priceless.

and yes Aunt Marg, this is like the 5th Christmas we're spending tgt and come to think of it, you've seen me thru all my relationships except for my first, and really, not in the least bit exaggerating, i believe you pick me up from hell-gate quite a good number of times and i cant really put across adequately how much it means to me (considering my recently acquired state of detachment which i've believed you've seen it al yet again) but ya, i guess, you know what im driving at.

all the nights of sitting by my side, be it silently or trying to make sense of the messages that my distorted mind is trying to convey and, at the same time, trying to drive sense in the hope of sorting those frayed ends, all the coffee, cheesecake and (of later years) alcohol, and what im really trying to say here is, i remember them all. (and seriously, i still kept one of those messages you've sent: somewhere along the line of "yes my dear, and i would come keep you company and watch all the sad shows with you alrite." would never forget that sentence. it's really (pardon my lang) damn sweet. cant believe how you handle all my nonsense. ure just.. unbelievable. bet you regret taking me as ure god-daug hur. grin.)

yes i do and i dunno whether i've ever told you this before, but all these while that im still hanging on to God despite my rollar coaster life (which has managed to hit ground zero a couple of times) is because i believe He loves me enough to send not just one, but a few angels, into my life to protect and love me. and from what i believe, ure one of them.

and yes (again), ure invited to the small party on the 20th Jan. and (duh) i want you to come if not i wouldnt have even asked right. only 13 people make it to my little list and ure, undeniably,one of them.

my presents will come! just a little more patience cause frankly, ever since my exams ended last thurs, i never really get a good day's of rest. the daily 3-4 hours nap's all i got to pull me thru a day's work and thru the night chill-outs with friends i've not met for ages.

this sat, im gonna meet sheena, kerr and wl and i really cant wait. come to think of it, i've known these juniors for like.. almost 7 years??! dun remind me about how fast time flies cause i sure know what it means by that line. and zibbie, we must make our meet ups just a little more regular. how i like to chill with you despite ure crankiness is still a mystery to me but yes. meet up soon ya? probly Play on thurs. (promise i will get back to you (: )

it's 535 and my eyes' closing.

work at 10 and later BBQ with S.K.W.!

gotta crash out in 5 secs.

will update soon (hopefully) with more juicier stuff. (:

`l am my own man
9:40 PM.

Monday, December 17, 2007

EXAMS FINALLY OVER!!

hahahaha. im rolling in joy and much anticipated and planned HOLIDAY Activities effectively starting from Sat!

AND,
The Reign of Terror has swept by.
NO MORE Sickening Projects which weighs heavily on three shoulders instead of six.
NO MORE stay-till-6am at groupmates' house to do Market Analysis.
(with one guy sleeping and the other looking at the screen, while i typed away with vehement enthusiasm, in the hope of giving moral support. ya. tell me about it.)

Mode now?
State of Perfect Rapture.

think im gonna laugh my way through Christmas!

P.S.
I've found myself another new group!
It's a season of Mutliple Blessings!

CHEERS MY GOOD FELLOWS!

`l am my own man
12:38 AM.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The rain has been falling since Wednesday morning and it is still not letting sign of stopping. I regard it as a form of good remedy to cool the mind of distractions and concentrate on: My Books.

I came across a not necessarily Hearts-and-Flowers view of love in Pride and Prejudice. (Life is mundane with just studying, so I tend to indulge in a little reading to make the learning more enriching.)

Listen to this,

Elizabeth: I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love?
Darcy: I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love.
Elizabeth: Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.

And now, back back to my marketing and management text. Just one more week.

`l am my own man
9:55 PM.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Quote from Stardust

Yvaine (the star):
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

it warms my heart every single time i saw Yvaine literally glow in happiness.

she looks so beautiful.. and truly happy. it makes me smile.

amidst the time studying at home, im heathily eating and not gaining weight (trust me on that. i weigh myself every freaking day.) and indulging in shows. now im on You've got Mail. my old time favourite.

oops. so sinful but blissfully spent.

alrite! you've just caught a glimpse of my stay-at-home-activities.

it's so wonderful i feel like staying at home everyday. haha.

`l am my own man
2:39 AM.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

My horoscope reading:

December 1, 2007 - Your judgment in financial matters will be rather shaky; therefore this will not be the time to embark on too important speculation deals. On the contrary, you'll be swamped with love waves. You'll feel stronger and more clear-sighted for the battle of life; you'll know how to look at things with more detachment in the face of certain difficult situations. In the work field, you'll have the possibility to make good performances and take excellent initiatives.

im amazed by the sheer accuracy of the reading at times. how's ures andrew? haha.

oh ya, btw, we're somewhat of a believer in astrology reading some time ago. definitely not the staunch sort but enough to scroll down to read when i go into facebook. hehe. (HEY. dun laugh at me. it's quite entertaining okayy.)

`l am my own man
5:47 PM.

I cant wait for these two weeks to be over and i can finally take a good rested break. remember the place you said you would go with me? i cant wait for it to happen.

guess you've always known this, but still, love you deep deep. take good care my friend, till we meet again.

a little of damien's good stuff to share with everyone. always been loving his songs. somehow, they talk to you.

`l am my own man
3:57 AM.