`i've waited all my life the path chosen the consequences to live with. `l am my own man
somewhere along the way, you tend to stop your work and wonder about the rationale behind it. it happens to everyone i guess, just that in varying degrees or sort. i have always loved my elder brother. when i was young, he was the well opening to me, and when i grow up, he was the sky to me. he's funny, responsible, meticulous, dedicated, kind and helpful. i still remember the time when he did accounts for my uncle's shipping company in his archi days and what with all the impossible research drawings and deadlines going on, he never once made any mistake in his calculations as noted by my uncle. and through the hanging out with his friends on random days, i know, he's a great friend. taking his friends' problems as his and taking care of them, just like another elder brother. he's always telling me to get out of 'my world'. saying tonnes yet little at the same time. at the end of the day, im just his little sister whom he wants nothing but happiness for. well, he said guys are jerks and that's about his other console. his words carry huge weight in my dictionary and if they sting or cut, i can tell you the pain is more than unbearable. but he seldom pushes that button on me, and for that im grateful for. i always look up to him. he's about the only guy i respect a lot and always go to if i need sound practical advice. he imparts his knowledge and experience, comprehensive and concise as ever with his opinions as the clincher. there are no exaggerations or blown out of proportion details and neither are there the unstated doubts. the cards were all lain wide open with strong opinions thrown in. i trust him a lot. my brother's words, are the words. `l am my own man
exams are 'OVER'. (if you get what i mean ya.) `l am my own man
`to cross this line
`to the only thing that's true
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
summer's the season for love it is the season of pain.
it is remembering it is trying not to stumble and fall.
shed off the mask and the truth you have been shrinking from is blaring right in your face.
when desire contravenes rationality, you know, it's your heart you cant trust.
3:40 PM.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
but the day before yesterday, he disappeared for a while and reappeared, dishevelled and in a trance. the thought of losing someone so dear, send cold shivers down my spine. i can imagine people walking out of my life. people i love so damn much and are close to my heart, but him, i just cant imagine him walking out of my door. he has always been around. ever since i existed i know him. i just cant imagine him not being there for me anymore. someone to bully, someone to fight with and to irritate. it's not fair that he goes now or even fifty years down the road. it's just not fair and i think He knows.
i saw it second and for the first time in a long time, i was taking charge. i was taking care of my big brother. i would say for him, the first cut is the deepest. nothing in context but again, he drives the unnecessary thoughts out of my mind as usual. im glad he's coming back on wednesday, together with his long shirt sleeve sticking in the hot weather.
9:35 PM.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
still pretty wrapped up in work.
my medicine's not really working but at least the migraine's gone.
and im bloody thankful for that alone.
and yeah i know what you guys are gonna say but please, no planning okayy.
let's just do whatever we want with whatever it comes to whoever's mind in whatever free time i got to offer.
THAT, will be good in my context.
dont expect blogging entries in like any of the near future (weeks/months) but pictures update? yeah, probably not a problem.
and if your wise enough, honestly, just quit reading this blog.
(:
5:20 PM.
`themood
*bien`
`themusic `thelyrics Lonely im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
I wont up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Im so lonely so lonely
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Im so lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
So lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Artist - Akon
Song - Lonely
Album - Trouble
.Lonely.
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole left life came crashin
Im so lonely so lonely,
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody to call my own
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girrll
