
`i've waited all my life Been running from these feelings for so long `l am my own man
Swinging man `l am my own man
sipping my drink quietly as i sat in spins `l am my own man
AUSTSWIM INSTRUCTOR COURSE OVER! `l am my own man
I heard you're doing ok `l am my own man
going MOS later. am currently enjoying life ya. was thinking of a day's trip to jb.. hmm.. oh, and i've suddenly realized that quite a handful of my fwns are like servers or bartenders in pubs and clubs mans. `l am my own man
`to cross this line
`to the only thing that's true
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Telling my heart I didn't mean it
Pretending I was better off alone
But I know that it's just a lie
So afraid to take a chance again
So afraid of what I feel inside
But I need to be next to you
I need to share every breath with you
I need to know I can see you smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night
For the rest of my life
Here with you near with you oh I
I need to be next to you
Need to be next to you
Right here with you is right where I belong
I lose my mind if I can't see you
Without you there's nothing in this life
That would make life worth living for
I can't bear the thought of you not there
I can't fight what I feel anymore
i love you eliza dear.
sometimes i wonder,
wad im gonna do at all..
if ure not here by my side.
I don't need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something
But i've got all i want
When it comes to loving you
You're my only reason
You're my only truth
You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing
'cause that's just how you are
And i can't turn back now
'cause you've brought me too far
i am yours,
and your mine too.
11:00 PM.
I'm hanging around
Hangin' 'round
I'm the swinging man and my feet
Never touch the ground
Swinging man
Swinging man
I swing back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth
I was looking for a little warmth
But i didn't find nuthin'
So now i'm hanging around
Swinging man
Feeling no pain
No pain
No pain
No pain
All the girls know my name
I go by; swinging man
Swinging man
I tell you what - you get yourself together
And you go downtown, you come on home
And i'll still be hangin' around
Because i'm the swinging man
And my feet never touch the ground
Now if you love me, you'll cut me down
But if not, i'll still be hangin' around
Cuz i'm the swinging man and my feet
Never touch the ground
I'm the swinging man.
this is a very interesting song i've heard by Black Flag- The Swinging Man. kinda relate though i dont really believe in the passive way of thinking. (:
life is pretty tiring now. been shuttling ard different pools. i love the Pebble Bay condo. the building architecture is european style. and the place is filled with.. gorgeous looking caucasian kids! from english to indiana. the reproduction results is fabulous! haha.
eliza and i have a wish list. she wana get another apartment in trellis. but me? i rather we have it elsewhere much more cosier and elegant. oh wells. thoughts are just thoughts afterall. (:
7:35 PM.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
i listened as andrew told me what happened
to the relationships in her life.
story goes like this:
she has a misunderstanding with the ger she likes
she tried to explain, but was slammed right in the face.
there at spins, i asked her to try again.
this time, with my phone.
ger picked up, told her it's none of her business
all that has had happened. and dru, being her, back
off almost immediately.
no luck again.
i said she got to be patient, thick-skinned almost.
and definitely persevere in spite of any tough shit given.
and at this moment, i told her the story of a beautiful girl who has the patience of a saint. the girl here? my wonderful girlfriend. :)
everytime im frustrated with issues, i would push her away. as i always do. to the extend i would even shoot nasty comments like "ure words doesnt help in the least. it just pisses me more mans". oh wells. she din call me meanie for nothing.
she din reply.
and naturally, i thot she's angry.
but after church, she called immd and asked whether im alrite. and when i asked why she's not angry, i could almost hear her smiling in the fone and say "silly, deardear wont be angry with u one ya. i noe ure in a bad mood." guilty like shit i felt after hearing that. and that makes me love her even more.
and i've just realized.
im loving her more and more each day.
eliza is young. but she is bloody more patient and wise than any of the peers i noe. it takes me one year to unravel her good traits and im still counting. i really wish..
i can call this ger mine for a long long time to come.
12:08 PM.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
one more CPR refreshment course
with the Red Cross and it's finally over.
or should i say..
a fresh new start?
the future has never look more promising. :)
2:15 PM.
Friday, September 08, 2006
But I want you to know
im a dick-
im addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy but you left anyway,
I'm trying to forget that
im addicted to you,
But I want it and I need it
Im addicted to you
Now it's over,
can't forget what you said
and I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker... heartbreaker...... heartbreaker.
Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
still a dick...
Im addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway
I'm trying to forget that
im addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
Im addicted to you
Now it's over
can't forget what you said
and I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker... heartbreaker...
How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine
on a second note, i really miss hanging out with my fwns. must do more often before skol starts esp tonning out late. two more weeks. suddenly, it seems a long way to go.
8:33 PM.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you
11:30 AM.
`themood
*bien`
`themusic `thelyrics Lonely im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
I wont up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Im so lonely so lonely
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Im so lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
So lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Artist - Akon
Song - Lonely
Album - Trouble
.Lonely.
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole left life came crashin
Im so lonely so lonely,
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody to call my own
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girrll