`i've waited all my life She is gone. `l am my own man
`to cross this line
`to the only thing that's true
Thursday, June 16, 2005
my dearie is gone..
on her eight hours flight to japan on cathay plane.
i miss her terribly.
i am so tired.. but i just cant sleep.
presumably, most of you guessed as much.
i skipped tennis to go home and rest.
end up reading The Lost Boy.
the sequel of A Child Called 'it'.
everytime i read the book, i can just feel my soul drifting and sinking deep into the sea..
each word brings me further down into the waters and darkness envelop my whole being so wholesomely..
my heart goes al the way out to the Dave Pelzer.
and for the dunno how many thousandth time, i thank god for a pair of unabusive parents.
standing fixed at a corner of the common pathway, a succession of students walked to and fro.
each getting to their destination. my glaze drifted to the fire extinguisher glass in front and my eyes stared at the reflection within.
two years ago, i was like a lost soul. not knowing where i am heading; much less what i want to achieve in my life. like a lost sheep, i merely allow myself to be carried forward with the drift of time.
and time sure flies.
i felt it was as if yest that i first received my A-level results. with a sinking realization that i cant really get into a good course with that kinda grades.
i detest my conveyor-style of life.
it is boring me.
i need to breathe.
i've decided..
i need to escape.
dere and den, i jumped into the working society. intrigued by the buzz, temptations and wonders of the heretic world beyond my safe little paradise.
i ran and fell.
and in the process, i scraped my knees and hands and possibly several other parts of my body. but i never failed to pick myself up.
amid these two years, i've cried and laughed more den any other years of my life combined together.
i've made friends. talked to dozens, hundreds and perhaps even thousands of people in my work, and the vast spread of my social circle.
i've listened and learnt plenty.
painful lessons in life have taught me who to trust; who not to love; wad to say and wad to do in different circumstances in life.
with a face which look barely eighteen.
i feel seasoned and well acquainted with the mechanism of a superior machine called:
the human life.
the rule of this survival game is not to expose the undesirable,
but to learn to recognise it and steer clear of danger's path.
suddenly,
i miss my dearie plenty.
she is certainly one who have seen and been thru alot in her short fifteen years of life,
but nonetheless, remain the pure and innocent her.
she never fail to make my heart goes al soft and tender on her.
in one of our night conversations,
we brought out this topic-
who is the more beautiful one.
(dun ask how did we manage to embark on this discussion)
we both arrowed at each other.
she never realize..
just how beautiful she is.
like a diamond dipped in murky water,
she never fail to shine al the same.
bearing grudges is never her forte.
forgive and forget,
there is nothing much to hate..
i can almost hear her whisper this in the air..
life is so peaceful and easy with her around.
every single morning,
is a quick jump off the bed,
followed by a busy scurrying ard the house.
a thorough brushing up and getting ready to grab my packed bag and go.
each morning rush a certain happiness floating and locked in the atmosphere.
each stride filled with purpose and bursting hope;
each dawn break another positive day ahead.
i am confounded by this change in me.
and i noe where it al started.
i only hope this love which bring me to this locus,
is only the beginning of a blissful life.
one that holds both me and her in it.
and den, it just makes life so much more significant and fulfilling.
i love you dearie.
probably much more den you would have allowed ureself to believe.
9:51 AM.
`themood
*bien`
`themusic `thelyrics Lonely im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
I wont up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Im so lonely so lonely
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Im so lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
So lonely so lonely
Im so lonely so lonely
Artist - Akon
Song - Lonely
Album - Trouble
.Lonely.
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole left life came crashin
Im so lonely so lonely,
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody to call my own
To call my own to call my own girl
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girl
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own
Im mr. Lonely mr. Lonely
I have nobody I have nobody
To call my own to call my own girrll
